Yoga is good for your soul and bones.
"Alfred Hanky-Panky, at yer service," said Alfred Hanky-Panky, at the old woman’s service.
"By Jove, you’re two and a half hours late!" said she, all a-fluster. "Come in, come in. Don’t delay another blasted moment."
Entering the manor, Alfred Hanky-Panky twitched his little snout-like nose and squinted. “For the love of God, woman, I can tell you have quite the rodent infestation!” Grimy, thought she. He’s a tiny, grimy man.
"I know that. Jove, that’s why I called you here! Kit Kat Bar?"
Laughing like a stoned twelve-year-old on Crumble morn, Alfred Hanky-Panky replied, “Much obliged, but I gave them up after the, uh, accident. Now, where’s yer water closet?” Old, thought he. Probably senile.
Quick to accommodate strangers with snout-like noses, the prune of a woman gestured toward the staircase and said, not unkindly, “Right this way.”
So, the village exterminator, Alfred Hanky-Panky, ambled up the stairs, each one squeaking a little louder than the last. To be sure, my stairs haven’t squeaked since the blizzard of ‘44, thought the old hag.
Under the floorboards, there was a sudden flurry of scurrying. “Varmints!” shrieked the woman. “Will you hurry up up there?”
X-ray equipment, which toot sweet caught the corner of the old woman’s eye, lay in Alfred Hanky-Panky’s cheese-reeking leather knapsack at the landing of the stairs. Yellow with age, a whole wheel of parmesan revealed itself upon closer inspection, and it wasn’t long at all before the matron of the mansion, who was no spring chicken, was flying out the front door in a fright.
Zipping out of the second-story privy came a giant, whiskered rat, eyes all a-bulging and snout all a-twitchin’, in pursuit of its employer, saying all the while, “Alfred Hanky-Panky, at yer service. By Jove, I’m the best in the business, mum!”
Welcome back to the Dagobah system.
Whatever you do, don’t fucking panic.
We all scream for doggone ice cream.
And I know that I gotta be above it now.
Beer will give you diarrhea. Please drink responsibly.
Goodnight, everybody. Everybody, everywhere.